Sabeen

I had always come across muslim women covered in a particular way. Why? I did not have a clue.

I spent 3 years of my childhood in Pakistan. My parents wanted me to develop my understanding of Islam and the Pakistani culture. Living in Pakistan amongst muslims should have been a great way to build my foundation of Islam and undoubtedly the culture. However, many factors of the lifestyle caused confusion in this little girls head. Surprisingly, one particular issue that was confusing was to see women dressed in an Islamic outfit (Jilbab and Khimar). The confusion did not lie in seeing them wear such clothing, but what I did not understand was why some of these women were not dressed like that all the time? Why would they not cover their heads properly? Why would they remove their Jilbabs and Khimars when they would go to special events such as mixed gatherings?.

I didn't take too much notice of it (I was 8 years old) and just accepted it the way it was. I guess I thought it was 'normal', it was 'Islam'.

Eventually I returned back to London after spending over 2 years in Pakistan. During high school, I came across many girls with their heads covered. However, some girls would only wear their Khimars to school and on the way back. Some would wear it in such a way that the Khimar would rest almost on their shoulders. Some would wear it in Ramadhan only. Of course their were some that wore it correctly (covering their heads, necks and chests) but as far as I remember there was still no sign of the Jilbab.

Whilst dealing with the reality I eventually figured out the correct dress code for a muslimah. Why? I still didn't have a clue. I knew that it was part of Islam but didn't really understand the full reality of it. I was creating reasons and then justifying why it was okay for me not to wear a Jilbab and a Khimar. I was unaware of the consequences. I mean I knew that it meant I was sinful and I would probably go to hell, but what did these words really mean? Honestly - Not much!!

Alhamdulillah, after realising what my REAL purpose in life is, I came to understand and accept Islam completely. The upsetting thing is that I was amongst the evil for just too long, May Allah forgive me for my ignorance - Ameen.

I recently had a conversation with a sister back in London. The conversation went something like this (original coversation was in Urdu):

Sister: "Why do you wear this?" (she meant my precious Jilbab and Khimar)
Me: "Because its fard upon a muslim woman to dress in this way"
Sister: "I don't believe that, it doesn't matter what you wear as long as your reasonably covered and you draw a veil infront of your eyes and your heart is pure"

SubhanAllah! What does "reasonably cover" mean? Does it mean Shalwar kameez or does it mean a bakini?. Im pretty sure she meant shalwar kameez and Im pretty sure most women at the beach feel comfy in bakinis. So how do you define reasonably cover? "Draw a veil infront of your and your heart is pure", did Allah (swt) give such exceptions? Our personal opinions on such matters hold no significant value in this duniya and will not suport us in our akhira either.

May Allah guide us all to the straight path, Ameen :o)

Lastly, would just like to thank a few people for their efforts, their time and the knowledge I have gained from them. May Allah reward you all, InshaAllah (Ameen).

I will soon post on the feeling of wearing a Jilbab and Khimar. If you don't wear it ever wondered how it feels? Well read up on my next post soon...inshaAllah.

...From food?? well course not entirely, man I have to survive some how but after having this half slice of chocolate fudge cake I feel like chocolate, not a sweet one, amazingly bitter.

Feel sleepy now. See what food can do to you, well to me anyway. Whos gonna do my homework?? Hmmm let me think?..nah noone willing!

Just remembered that I have been thinking about Jilbab and Khimar lately, will post on it when my eyes are a lil more open and my brain is geared up ready to speed at 110mph (my car/brain (whatever) doesnt go above that :o|).

Jilbab and Khimar - Alhamdulillah I have it, worry nots :oD but whoever doesn't have it must worry lots.. :o|

I made a cake today.

First time.

At home.

Not in the oven, in my head..or am I meant to say on my head?

Ingredients: Egg, yogurt and oil...no sugar!
What was missing? Flour!

My mums recipe for conditionin the hair..thought may as well try this Paki...stani cake..aani. Will let u know the result inshaAllah but right now its given my a headache coz its damn cold.

Eid Mubarak to everyone!! May Allah shower you all with his blessings, Ameen :o)

The 'Eid preparation started a couple of weeks ago. There were many sheeps rolling around on almost every other road. As you would purchase the sheep, a red mark would be placed on the skin to indicate that the sheep had been sold! Everytime I would see these sheeps, I thought to myself do they even know that they will be slaughtered soon?!! Man it reminded me of the time when I saw the slaughter in Pakistan in our house, eerrrggghhh so much blood!

I went for salat-ul 'Eid this morning with the information that it would be after full sunrise! Well what time is that? hmm Only the Imam knew but we just made our way to the masjid for just before sunrise. The masjid was not large enough so they placed mats down for men and women in the field where the car auction would take place every Friday and Sunday. Aaah, as I removed my shoes, I felt the cold reach my left foot, I wonder why my right foot didn't feel as cold? It was cold, the 'Eid salat began I think around 8am! The lines for the Jamat got fuller and fuller and before I knew it, there were tonnes of brothers and sisters MashaAllah! I was so delighted to see so many muslims together in Jamat. So everyone began the salat as the Imam recited "Allahu Akbar". I was kind of looking forward to the end, wanting to see brothers greeting brother and sisters greeting sisters. SubhanAllah, as the Imam said his salam across both shoulders, the people also done the same and within 10 seconds I looked up only to see majority of the people chipping home. I thought ehhh, whats going on? I asked my friend, what about the Khutba and the du'a?? and she didn't know either. I hardly saw people greeting 'Eid mubarak to eachother. That was the moment I missed London. Yeh believe it or not, I missed London! Every 'Eid salat I would pray, all the sisters would hug to greet eachother with gorgeous smiles on their faces and say 'Eid mubarak. I was disappointed but Alhamdulillah 'Eid went well. Had a large meal, actually had 2 large meals Alhamdulillah. I think I won't have to eat till next 'Eid. hehe :oD

Unfortunately, I heard from my dad that everyone was not celebrating 'Eid the same day. I was disappointed.

Anyway once again 'Eid mubarak to everyone and did anyone put on a stone like I did? Possibly a tonne!! :oD

Iqra...Iqra "Don't be sad". Excellent book, will recommend everyone to read this book. I have only started reading it and so far its amazing. Every soul I have met who has read this book has given me the same opinion, they have praised it and only till you read it you begin to understand the praise it is worth.

We all go through problems, grief, hardship but the following statements really touched my heart:

"The good kind of grief is that which stems from missing out an opportunity to do a good deed or from performing a sin. When one feels sad because he was negligent in fulfilling the rights o Allah, he shows the characteristics of a person who is on the right path".

SubhanAllah, we as humans tend do get sadenned by many things, however we should remind ourselves that with every hardship Allah (swt) brings ease inshaAllah. We are rewarded for all the the hardship we go through and grief is just another form of hardship. If we look at it from that angle, this grief will bring happiness inshaAllah

We should remind ourselves that all hardships in this life are temporary as this life is just a short break on our journey to our creator and earning reward from these hardships is a permanent thing that will witness us till the end inshaAllah.

Now give us a smile and go n purchase this book now, it definately is worth it.

Hmmm...



This is my new outfit that I use to pray. I never knew that's what it really looks like when u stretch out ur arms :oD Its so handy, everytime its time to pray, I just slip it on quick time. I reckon I can fit a few of you sisters out there with me, what do ya reckon? wanna try? hehe. Its pretty long too. Funny how I would almost always trip over my previous jilbabs when I would use em to pray, but this one mann, its just don, I know how to control it even though its twice the size of me - Alhamdulillah :o) Now no more dancing about whilst praying isn't it ;o)


So this is what it looks like when I drop my arms:


Any better?? Well I love it..


Anyway check out the pics of the apartment im renting:








Excuse the mess please, I was just about to pray as you can see from the prayer mat on the floor and my prayer uniform on the chair. This is the lounge, what do u think?
I think the heater might set fire to the chair any minute, okay okay if not fire, it may burn it!! hmm I remember my back was burning whilst sitting on that chair but I firmed it till it starting itching me..hehe..does that happen to any of you?





That's my bed in the bedroom, proper Bakistani style! check out the pillows against the wall. They are there to protect me from the cold coming through the walls...lol..that's right, the cold travels through the walls, windows, doors!! Im like a frozen carrot every morning...by the way what does a frozen carrot look like? I reckon it just goes extra solid?